God Speaking: When Hearts are Prepared and The Time is Right: Look Out. Power is Released.

I've been thinking about God speaking to us as His children. I've had way too many experiences in my life to even think of denying that He speaks. I started to hear God speak as a teenager. I didn't always know how to handle what I heard. I shared things probably more out of zeal than wisdom. But that's how we learn, right?

I would hear things and just speak them out.

I don't do that as much as I used to. Not to say that I don't still do that. But I try to be sensitive now. Wait for the right time to share. Let the word settle deep in my heart. When the time is right, then deliver it.

I've learned just how important tone is when delivering the Word that God places in my heart. Wrong tones just hurt people. When the tone is right in the delivery, man.... how effective.

I've learned to give the word I hear and sense out of love. I love the people that I minister to. I love the people that God wants to heal, restore, deliver, free up. Love is the motivation. It has to be.

Last evening, as I was trying to nod off to sleep, I felt God speaking and ministering to people who I know on just a name basis. I haven't met them yet. But I know that God wants to meet them where they are. He wants to speak His love to them. He wants to speak His Heart to them. And I believe He will in His time.

I get excited when God starts speaking to me and sharing His heart with me. That's another thing I've had to learn....hold onto the word. Don't deliver it out of my excitement because maybe they're not ready to hear the word yet. God prepares people's heart to be able to receive the word. When hearts are prepared and the word is given in the right time: my, my... what a combination. When these two things come together, the power of God is released to do what the word was sent to accomplish.

All I Want Is Love.... a bit of my story.

I think it's time to share a bit of my story. I have this real sense to do so. Surely there must be a reason as to why. Part of me wonders why. But here we go.

Let me begin by saying this: We all want to be loved. Love is the driving force to what it means to live.

I grew up with this double-minded thought: I knew I was loved and yet I didn't know I was loved. A lot of times I didn't feel it. I know love is more than feeling it but it sure does help to feel it. God did give us feelings for a reason.

I struggled with love. I wanted to be loved so badly that I would do anything to attract love. I would try to be funny. I would talk.....Those of you who know me knows that I love to talk. I would try so hard to be liked. Sometimes it worked...for a while. But I think I pushed more people away from me rather than keep them. The reason I say this is because I can be a bit overwhelming.

This is where fear took over. I feared love in many ways. I would become clingy to people and they would be overwhelmed by that trait that they would take a step back. I would take that as rejection and it would cause me to become more shy, and take me down a road of real discouragement. Fear would set in.

Then came the internal conversation that would beat me up mentally. "See, they don't like you so why should you like yourself." I would build walls around my heart to protect me but there was a small window in the wall that I could peer out. No matter how hard I would try to protect my heart, I would look out and crave to be loved.

The question became "Why won't people like me? Why won't people love me?"

This internal conversation would then begin again and say, "Don't go and meet new people because you know you'll say or do something stupid and then they'll know how stupid you are."

I remember reading one time this statement: The fear of rejection alot of times is worse than the rejection itself. For me that was the case. I was so afraid of people rejecting me that a lot of times I wouldn't even bother to try and meet people. It was safer that way. I didn't have to try and mend my heart again.

I wasn't popular at school. I didn't have alot of friends. I walked around with my head down. I didn't believe in myself. Not that I thought I was evil. I just didn't know how to deal with people. It was easier to be alone.

I knew that God loved me.... well... most of the time I knew God loved me. For a while I went through a time when I wondered if He did.

Fear leads to a feeling of unworthiness. When I was in my first year of College, I went through this. I felt so unworthy of love.

So how did I overcome it? I don't know if I have fully overcome the fear. But I can say that as I have opened myself up to the concept of love, I have found that people have always been there. Love has always been there.

I have a loving family. My sister is my best friend.

I have a loving church family. They stand by me.

I have great friends. Some who I have reconnected with after many years. Some have been with me on this incredible journey.

What am I trying to say?

Love is the only thing that can overcome rejection. Love is the only thing that can overcome hurt, bitterness, fear. Love is the only thing....

I have learned that I need to take the risk. If I want love then I need to give love. If I want love then I have to open myself to love. If I want love..... yes, I want love. I have love. I am loved.

Life at 35

I love how life has taken on more meaning this past season of my life. I must be honest by saying that I thought my life would look differently than it does. I would love to have been married by now with children. I would have thought my life would have been in what I thought ministry would have looked like.

But...

I must say that I am thankful....grateful... for what my life looks like right now. Ministry is sweet.

I have had such opportunities in the last 6 months that have been absolutely out of this world crazy and amazing. I have reconnected to people that I haven't seen in many many years. I have been able to encourage them.

And it hasn't all been about me encouraging them, pouring into them, taking them "under my wing". Not in the least. It's been about watching my family increase. Gaining a brother. Gaining a sister. Watching friendships rekindle. Being full of awe and wonder at what is God up to.

Yeah, my life is wonderful right now.

Ministry has taken on a different look right now. I am part of a grass roots ministry right now. I am singing background vocals which I enjoy. I am sharing once a month for a few minutes.

I don't know what's ahead for me.... but I must say that being 35 has been alright. :)

Connection - 20 years and Never Missed A Beat

This weekend was I think one of the most important weekends of the year for me. I had the great opportunity to visit with a friend of mine who I hadn't seen in 20 years. We had met at a Bible Camp when we were 15. I really believe that he left a carbon footprint on my soul.... well the God within him did for sure.

We had a lot to catch up on sure. Life sure has been interesting for the both of us. Lots of good stuff...some trials and tribulations.... fear...frustration..... stress. And yet even in the midst of all that stuff, God is still present and real.

Though 20 years went by, it was like we never missed a beat. Which blows my mind really. 20 years is a long time but I tell you that what a feeling of ease knowing that things hadn't changed in the friendship at all.

I had often wondered where life had taken him and we took the time to talk about everything we could. We shared a lot of stuff on a deeper level.

I was so honored to have been asked to stay in his home and meet his wife and son (and Liberty, the Dog). I felt as if I were part of the family. We're working on another visit soon... not another 20 year wait. :)

As I drove up the driveway to go home, I was overwhelmed by the gift God gave me to reconnect. That's what this whole life is about. Connection. Connection is vital. It's important. We need it. We were created to connect.

It's not about having an answer for every question or a response to every conversation. I think I've learned finally over the last few years that the listening ear is more important. To be there for a person. To let them vent, express, feel what they do. Not to try and change them into who you think they should be. That's not where it's at.

I desire connection. That's what I want in my life. That's what life is all about anyway. I want to be present when they need to talk, vent, express. Here's my ear.... it's ready. I hope I won't feel the need to give the pat answer. If I do, please accept my apology in advance. :)

Moving Forward, Reconnections and the Journey

Well I have spent some time contemplating, thinking about God did in my life over the course of this past weekend at the first anniversary service for Forward Church. It's hard to believe that a year ago God began to move upon my heart to connect to the church. I've had an amazing experience, made alot of good friends and family.

This weekend we had two pastors from Ohio have our services. Saturday night was so powerful. It caused me to realize that I can still believe in the dreams that God has for me. I must not let go of the dream.

Sunday morning was just as powerful.

Though I was tired, I felt I needed to go hear one of the pastor's preach at another church Sunday night. Again there was a deep impartation presented.

There was a song sung that totally went deep into my heart and I've been singing it all week:

I'M NOT GOING BACK
I'M MOVING AHEAD
I'M HERE TO DECLARE TO YOU
MY PAST IS OVER IN YOU

This is what the weekend meant for me. It's about moving forward.... to not be content staying where I am at in my life.

I once again found a couple of friends from my camper days as a teenager on Facebook. I find it so amazing all these reconnections coming my way. I believe there is a reason for it.

I'm very excited for the weekend. I am going down to visit with a friend and meet his wife and son. Again another connection from my camp days....after all these years.... it's like we never lost touch.

You may wonder about these reconnections.... isn't that going back to the past? Not at all.... I really believe that reconnections are meant for the future. God has something in mind.... I'm embracing this.

I wonder:
what does the second year of Forward Church mean to me?
what does the reconnections mean?

I'm looking forward to the journey....

The Journey: One Year of Risks, Faith, and Water Walking

One year.

An Anniversary.

A new day for me.

A life changing, life-altering day.

That's how I describe this weekend coming.

August 1st, 2010, I got ready for a morning church service. I didn't know anyone at this new church I was about to go to. I knew of them but that was all. I walked in, and felt at home even though I didn't know these people.

These people: are who I now call dear friends.

I didn't go there expecting to make it my home church. I knew a change was coming into my life. I didn't know what that change was going to look like. I'm glad I didn't talk myself out of going. I almost did. I'm so glad I didn't. I opened myself up to love, to friendship.

We all have a journey we must walk. We must be open to the twists and turns of that journey. To hear God's voice sometimes requires us to take a risk. To follow in His footsteps requires us to take a risk. We sometimes need to step out of the boat of familiarity and defy gravity.

Those first few weeks required me to walk on water so to speak. Now I know that Jesus was walking on the water with me. I continue to trust the journey.

I look forward to the 2nd year of the journey.

Laying Aside the Judgements: Moving from Judgement to Truth

So my thoughts may seem a bit melancholy with this post.

I had heard earlier in the week of someone's passing. I never met them that I am aware of. I had heard of them but always in a negative light so it formed my perception of them but does my perception make them who they really are?

Has what I heard of them be the truth or is it based on someone else's perception?

We do this a lot. We take what we have heard and four our own perceptions and judgments and call them truth. We call it "discernment". Our truth.

Not every "bad" person has only "bad" qualities. There may be many contributing factors to have created the "bad boy" image. There is good in everybody. Sometimes one has to take the time and search for it.

Not every "good" person has only "good" qualities. We are human. We have flaws, failures, indescretions.

So it brings me to the point of this blog. Who set me up as judge and jury on the lives of people? Jesus said so many times "Don't judge. It's not your job." And yet how often I find myself doing it. Judging people is not loving people. Only God is supposed to judge.

I remember a kid growing up and he had such a temper and a bad reputation. I thought, "What a bad kid!" No... he was a kid trying to make it in the world the best he knew how. I don't know where he is now. Hee was a kid who needed love.

Some people seem hard to love but maybe that's the challenge.

Then I think of Victor. A hard life... a hard hand dealt. I wish he would have won with that hand. I wish I could have been better with him rather than judge him. I wonder if we'd have remained good friends no matter where in the world we would find ourselves after all these years? I'd have loved to celebrate with him becoming a grandfather. I would have loved to have good long talks...encourage one another on our respective journeys.

So I think I best lay down the gavel, take off the pious judge's robe and just be what a true normal person should be.... gracious, full of mercy, love, compassion, a big heart full of rooms for everyone. It's time I extend beyond mysel, lay aside all those presumptions, perceptions, and lies and really desire truth. Seek Truth. Search for it. Go after it like a lover.

What I Would Do.... the Journey from Pain to Growth

I hate to see people in pain. I hate to see those I love with all my heart end up having a broken heart themselves. If I could I would protect them from having to experience such feelings.

As good as my intentions may be: there's nothing I can do.

It's a helpless feeling actually.

I'd fight, scream, cry... anything if it would mean that those I love were safe from being hurt.

Sometimes it is through pain that growth happens. If I protect those I love from pain then maybe they won't learn the lessons they need.

Do I wish someone would have protected me? Yes and no. I don't enjoy being broken hearted. I don't enjoy pain.

BUT

I have learned so much in my 35 years....sometimes through the hardships of life. I can't discredit the school of hard knocks, broken hearts and the freedom of souls.

It's hard to stand back and watch. But it's something that I need to do. I need to pray and trust that the same God who brought me through will bring through the ones I love.

Some of you are about to embark a journey that is something you never thought you'd walk but I know you will make it.

Clay's Week in Review

What a week it has been. It's been extremely busy but oh so enjoyable. It all started last Saturday night with my niece's pinning ceremony. This is a ceremony that celebrates the achievements of the Practical Nursing program. My niece is now a Practical Nurse. There's one more hurdle to come in September. It's a big exam that gives her the liscence. I'm very happy and excited that after all she has been through this last two and a half years that she worked hard at what she loves to do.

Monday night was my nephew's prom. He was very handsome in his tux. His date was absolutely stunning in her dress. They made a lovely couple. The excitement I felt was overwhelming. I felt as if I were living my experience through him. I didn't go to my prom which had been my choice but now looking back I wonder if I missed out on the experience.

Wednesday night was his graduation. I am so proud. I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging. He won 8 awards that evening. One for Chemistry. One for French. He had high honors. I don't even remember all the awards he won. He also had a few scholarships as well. He's going to the University of New Brunswick to pursue Science in the field of medicine. The thought that he may find a cure for some disease...oh wow. :) Anything is possible.

Friday morning was my niece and sister's graduation. Who would have thought that a mother and daughter would graduate together. My sister graduated with honors and she also was chosen for the principal's award. I was so proud and excited for her. She had some tough hurdles to cross over the year but she did it! God helped her. I know there were many tears shed, frustration felt but God saw fit to give her the strength to not only complete but also to thrive.

So three wonderful and important people in my life begin to embark on a journey of new things. I pray that this same stamina will be imparted to me to embark new things too.

I was very encouraged last night by watching the news. For whatever reason, I have been praying for a small community. I really don't have any connection to this community other than I had been there a few times as a teen. I always felt some sort of connection to this community. Anyways, last night I heard that a business is going to be expanding there.

You may wonder why I was encouraged by this. The reason is that I have been praying for this community and felt that there were businesses that were going to bring life back to this community. The last time I had been there, I felt this deep sadness. I felt like I had been transferred to a desert. God is wanting to take this community and bring it back to life. Not to just it's former glory but to a present glory. So this is exciting for me.

I have also been encouraged by talking to friends this week. I have talked to a friend I haven't seen in 25 years. She shared some of her story with me. We all have a story that needs to be shared. I am so glad she trusted me enough to share. :)

I also talked with a friend who has been having a bit of health issues. I've been praying for doors to open and close for him. I really believe it's going to happen.

My pastor encouraged me with an email concerning the way I had been handling background vocals at church. I don't have a soft voice...ha. I have so enjoyed singing background vocals. It is a bit different for me. I am used to just being completely spontaneous with singing where background vocals require me to be a bit more controlled....which isn't a bad thing. It's been a very positive experience.

So life is good. I don't know what's ahead. Maybe that's the beauty of it. I heard someone say once that it's not the destination but the journey that is beautiful. Maybe they're right.

Carbon Footprint People (Excerpt from a book I'm writing)

There are people who leave a carbon footprint on our lives. People of History: People of Faith (that's what Hebrews 11 is all about), People we meet only a few times, People we have long lasting friendships with. These footprints are important in our growth and wholeness.
Historical Figures who have left their carbon footprint on my life:

1) Corrie Ten Boom – I have read many of her books and they have left such an impression on my life. I credit these writings to be the reason I have such a deep love and longing for the European people. Her resilience through all that she faced in and through her life has inspired many people. Her simplicity of looking at life is an amazing thing. Her love for God is astounding even when she could have reason to be angry for all her losses. She wasn’t. She continually served God all the days of her life.
2) The Underground Church in Russia – Again, these people have left their mark on my life. The question always remains: Would I be able to withstand the persecution and love God still? These people stood their ground, met as often as they could and worship God. I would love to travel one day to Russia just to experience first hand the atmosphere these dear brethren lived. I know that Communism is no longer there however, the atmosphere is still charged with it.

People of Faith
1) Teachers of the College I attended and taught at have shown me what it means to believe God, love God, hear God speak and develop a relationship with Him. They taught by example. A dear pastor friend of mine by the name of Dale Lloyd has spoke into my life on many occasions. He shared his heart through his teaching and preaching. What he shared with the students still has an impact on my life to this day. I still remember some of the courses he taught on. He has heard God’s voice and spoke into my life prophetically. He is one of the few people who I have given permission to speak into my life.


Acquaintances:
There are some people who come into your life for a short period of time. It has been one of the most misunderstood things in my life. I have wanted to hold onto these people and their friendship for as long as I could. I’ve learned many great things from them but they were only meant to be mere acquaintances. It is best to enjoy their friendship for the time you have them and allow them to move on to their next reason for living.

One of the greatest experiences that I have had in the past few months have been becoming reconnected to people who I haven’t seen in 20-25 years. These people had such an impact on my life. They left a carbon footprint even though I have limited contact with them.

This is something we must understand and realize. Everyone that we come into contact with, no matter how limited, leaves an impact on their souls. I learned so much from these people. I learned to accept compliments. I learned to accept myself. I learned to be me.

I used to take it as rejection when people would leave. I would internalize it and think there was something wrong with me. It’s not that at all. It’s not about me. It’s not about them. It’s about what life is. Life is a cycle. People are in our lives for a reason in a season. I must learn to bless them, release them and allow them to go and leave their carbon footprint on the life of someone else. They’re carbon footprint is forever etched on my heart. Why would I not want them to go and leave their footprint on the heart of someone else?

Being reconnected to these great people has become one of the best things in my life. The friendship is sweet. I look forward to what lies ahead.

I have memories that are my treasures from these experiences. This is what life is all about. Memories. Life is made up of memories.

I look back:
People helped me with getting into music and singing. I grew from that into writing and singing songs that mean something to me and help people connect to their own experience.

People helped me by encouraging me to be who God intended me to be. They may not have always understood why I was doing what I was doing but they supported me.

People listened to me during dark hours in my life.

People supported my dream of traveling to Europe. I was able to go to Poland and leave my carbon footprint on their lives through ministry.

We are all called and anointed and appointed to leave our footprint on the lives of others. The theme of this whole book is that we are created for relationship. We all need each other, whether we be only mere acquaintances or joined-to-the-hip friends.

Relay for Life 2011

I needed to spend some time thinking about what Relay for Life meant for me this year.

The first year was a time for me to deal with my loss and grief of a dear friend.

Last year was a time for me to deal with my fear and have a sense of hope renewed in my heart.

This year was a time for me to reflect on the journey of life. It hasn't been an easy road. But the road is what it is. No matter how tough things may be the greatest thing I know is that I have friends who stand with me, encourage me, pray with me, listen to me. That I wouldn't trade anything for.

My Birthday - It's Not Just Another Day.

Not too many may realize this about me so I'm going to take a little bit and share some of my heart in this blog. For as long as I can remember, I have suffered from seasonal depression. There are three months of the year that tend to be really difficult to handle. May is one of those months. I'm not sure as to why this is the case. Part of it may have to do with I'm usually alone. I don't make friends easily. I am a loner. I normally don't mind being alone but there are times when I want friendship desperately.

It's never good to be alone when you are depressed because the internal conversation tends to be severe and brutal.

I am very thankful to say that this past May hasn't been bad at all for depression. I believe it's because I have this understanding of friendship. I wasn't alone this past month.

However, the past few days of the month of June has been a bit depressing. I thought to myself, "Ugh, here we go. We must be making up for lost time."

I turn 35 today. I'm not married. I don't have children. Alot of people my age are married, have children and even some have grandchildren. It's not that I don't want to be married or have children because I do. I just haven't met the right person. If I were to dwell on this, it would be depressing.

I thought today was just going to be another day. I had an anniversary party to go to for an Aunt and Uncle. I saw alot of family and a few friends. That was nice. Thanks for encouraging me.

My Facebook page has had alot of Birthday Wishes on it.....friends from High School, friends from Maine, Georgia, Maryland, friends I know, friends I've never met. These messages have caused me to realize just how blessed I am. I am not alone. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

I feel hopeful. Another year to share my life and thoughts with you. I hope to encourage and inspire you. :)

Human Songs From A Faith Perspective

So I am preparing to sing for Relay For Life in my home community where I grew up. They had called and asked me to come back and sing. I am so pleased that they called me rather than having to call them and look like I'm begging to sing. I have never liked to ask to sing. It makes me look desperate. I remember telling my pastors in times past that if they wanted me to sing that they would have to ask me. I wasn't going to ask to sing. That's not to say I haven't asked to sing. But it is quite rare.

In this blog, I have shared the journey that my family have been on over the last two years. I have shared about writing songs about it. I have sung songs about the journey. Writing these songs have been very helpful in processing the journey.

I grew up singing in church, singing church songs, worship songs, Christian songs. I love singing these songs. They are important.

I write Christian songs.

However, these songs that I've been writing over the last two years aren't necessarily Christian songs per say. They aren't songs I probably could sing in a Church setting. Not that I'm ashamed of these songs. These songs are probably some of the most important songs I've ever written.

I would label these songs as such: Human Songs from a Faith Perspective.

Human Songs are songs about life. Real life. Pain, fear, joy, patience, healing, wonder. I feel that these songs have been (and I hope they continue to) a means for encouraging other people who identify with the emotions of life.

These songs use the word "Baby", "Darling", etc. These words make people uncomfortable (Christians). I remember the controversy back in 1991 when Amy Grant was using these words in her songs. Charlie Peacok's album "Love Life" was very controversial and banned from Christian Bookstores.

Yet these cds were simply expressing human feelings, emotions, realities.

Many artists don't want to be simply Christian Artists. I don't believe that they are ashamed of beings Christians. They simply want to express life from a Faith Perspective.

So these songs for Relay For Life are Human Songs. I won't apologize for singing Human Songs. I'm a Christian and not ashamed of that. Everyone knows I am. But I want to sing these two songs with passion, and faith. And maybe someone will hear these songs will identify themselves with them and leave this gathering with a better understanding of the strength they possess inside.


Love’s Whisper is Louder

You’ve come this far on the wings of grace
You couldn’t have made it without faith
I know you’re afraid of what lies ahead
I’m not here to tell you your fear is unfounded
Cause it’s not me walking down this road
And it would be easy to give the easy answer
It’s okay darling cause Faith is still faith
And you know love is love and that’s all we all need


Chorus:
I remember the day when a piece of my heart died
And I know yours was shattered with just a look
Fear has been a voice whispering in the background
Love’s whisper is louder and revives one piece at a time

You’ve come this far on the winds of mercy
You couldn’t have made it without faith
I know you’re afraid of the unknown
I’ll be the first to admit that I am too
But this one thing I know to be true
You’ve never been left alone to believe in tomorrow
It’s okay darling cause Faith is still faith
And you know love is still love and that’s all we need

There’s too much healing left in your hands
To not be given to an entire world
There’s too much love left in your heart
To keep to yourself, it’s not something you can do

Clayton A Stairs, February 13, 2011



Determination

Life hasn't been an easy one for you
For whatever reason that may be
Lot of mountains to climb
And valleys to trudge along through
I don't understand
I don't even pretend to
I'm just a spectator on the sidelines
Watching how you'll take this next turn

Chorus:
I must say you amaze me every time
I see determination in your eyes
They burn a hole in my heart
They make me wonder if I have that inside of me

You fight a war sometimes quietly
Sometimes with a vengeance
Where does your strength come from, Baby
Really I already know, I just want to hear it from your lips

Fight on Baby
Fight on
Courageous warrior
Fight on

Clayton A Stairs, May 17th, 2011

Milestones, The Fear, & Love's Whisper

Today is a big day for my niece. She has her last spinal tap, her last chemo treatment. It has been a long two year journey for her and her family. If it seems long to me, her uncle, then it must seem twice as long for her.

There have been alot of highs and lows along the two year journey. Alot of questions have marked the journey. Alot of emotion both of success and frustration....fear and joy. Lots of prayer have been markers along the way.

There have been many friends and family who have prayed for her over the last two years. I could never repay you for your kind words of encouragement, your faith, your love and support. You have stood beside us and I am pray that I can stand by you in your time of need. I pray you never have to walk the road of cancer. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

Of course, now that we near the end of this journey, there is always that nagging fear in the back of one's mind. Some may not understand that. Some will say "Well, that's not faith!" Maybe it isn't but if they haven't been through something like this they have no idea of what the journey is like. Sometimes it's easier to give the pat religious answer rather than acknowledge what every human being faces from time to time in their lives.

One of the songs I plan to sing at Relay for Life is called "Love's Whisper is Louder". It deals with the thought of fear. Fear is there. We might as well acknowledge it. Thankfully though, Love's whisper is louder than the voice of fear. May love's whisper always be louder for you in your life.

When Ministry Takes A Turn... Change Isn't A Bad Thing

I have a sense that the longer I live my life the picture of what ministry truely be is changing. When I graduated High School, I knew I was to go to Bible College and be trained. I had a picture in my mind that I would be a pastor. As life progressed, I became a Bible College Teacher. I have a heart for teaching. I love to teach and to share. In all those years of teaching, I noticed a huge change in me as an individual. The style of teaching changed from the mentality that "I'm the teacher -- you're the student"... to one of simply talking to people. With that came a vulnerability and an openness to share a side of me that I didn't let people see too often. I thought people wanted me to be a "strong leader". My perception of what a strong leader changed. It's not about "look at me"... it's about here's my scars.... here's my story... maybe you can identify with that. Now, I sense in my heart ministry for me is changing yet again. There is this deep sense that I want to keep that vulnerability in my teaching but I really sense that I want to be a prophetic encourager. I want to be able to have God download what He wants said and done to me and to be simply a vessel of encouragement to people....whether that be one-on-one or a church setting. I see conferences. I see some travelling involved. It's not about building my own kingdom or a name for myself because I could care less about that. If I can encourage people in their journey and relationship with God that would be amazing. If I can encourage people to go deeper in their faith....awesome. The reason I can encourage is because I've been encouraged. I used to challenge people because I was being challenged. I want to teach because I have been taught. I want to share because people have taken the time to share with me. If I can share the love that God has for people... oh what a joy! I kind of wonder if people hold on too long to what their ministry had been. Ministry, I think, is meant to change and grow and mature. What I used to do may or may not be what I am called to do today. I need to be open for change. Rather than rely on what has been, I need to rely on Him and allow Him the opportunity to bring and birth change into the calling. Wasn't it Him who birthed the calling in the first place? If He wants to bring a turn in the road shouldn't I be open to take the turn? Change isn't a bad thing....

The Prayer That Changes Things

It seems as if we are living in a time of great turmoil. More than likely the turmoil has always been there, it's just manifesting itself right now. It should do thing for the believer. These things that are transpiring in the earth right now should be inspiring to the intercessors of the earth. These things should be causing a draw in our spirits to pray. These things should be driving us to our knees. We should see these afflictions as opportunities for the Glory of God to be released in the earth. The Bible says that "The Eyes of the Lord are going to and fro throughout the earth." He's looking for something. He's looking for people who will pray, who will stand in the gap, who will intercede. Change the world you live in by prayer. Afghanistan will be changed only through prayer and intercession. Iraq will be changed only through prayer and intercession. Ivory Coast will be changed only through prayer and intercession. Japan and Haiti will be changed only through prayer and intercession. I find it very disturbing that there has been so much child and kiddie porn found in my province of New Brunswick. Intercessors, we need to be praying for our province's children that they will be protected from the evils of sexual abuse. New Brunswick will be changed only through prayer and intercession. Yet in the midst of all this turmoil, there are amazing, exciting, powerful things happening in the Spirit. Be passionate once again about prayer...about communication...about hearing God speak once again. Speak what He is speaking. Seed it into the earth. It's time to pray.

Hope Doesn't Disappoint

1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Key Verse:
5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

I don’t know about you but I have experienced some disappointment in life. Life hasn’t always been kind or shown me grace. Some of my deepest dreams and desires were crushed. I’ve lost friendships along the way due to misunderstanding.

The day my niece was diagnosed with Lukemia, I can tell you, I was very disappointed.

When my health scare came along, I was disappointed.

When my dream of being an assistant to my pastor didn’t come true, I was disappointed.

What is hope?

In the midst of difficulty, there is a trust that goes beyond human understanding. Trust has got my family through all these health issues.

Trust has kept me and caused me to dream bigger than I have ever dreamed before.

Hope caused me to turn even deeper into my relationship with Jesus Christ. Where else can I go?

Hope: There is a refuge that we have. My refuge is in knowing that no matter what I may face in life, I still have God with me.

There is this expectation in God.

In Merriam Webster Dictionary, it defines hope as this:
to cherish a desire with anticipation.
to expect with confidence

Hope causes me to cherish my relationship with God no matter what giant is in front of me. There is no disappointment in hope. I learn quickly to allow God room to do what He desires to do. As I do this, my love for God grows because I know that it is His love within that causes me to walk in the season set before me.

This is the reason why hope doesn’t disappoint. Love is in action. Love is what sees us through.

The Restoring of Wonder

Well it's been a while since I've blogged. I find that my life isn't all that exciting and when there's nothing to say why try and invent something to say just to fill up space. I do however have something that I feel God showed me this week that I want to take a moment and share. It convicted me so and maybe it will help you.

The thought is this: Wonder.

As a child, we are born with this instinctive quality to wonder. Everything is a wonder, a mystery. There was never a day that went by that we didn't learn something, experience something, come away with something to build character in our lives.

However, as we grow, we tend to lose that instinctive quality for whatever reason. Life tends to not be as mysterious, full of wide-eyed wonder.

This is the statement I heard in my heart this week: When we lose our sense of wonder, we are one step closer to complacency.

Think for a moment. Has life just become ho-hum? Has life lost its youthfulness? It's wonder? It's mystery?

Have you felt a bit lukewarm? A bit complacent? A bit less compassionate and caring?

Could it be that the sense of wonder has dimmed in our lives?

It's easy to lose sight of the wonder. It's easy to take that step closer to complacency.

Sometimes God has to move us into action inorder to reveal to us that we had become complacent. It's not about what has happened to us or who has wronged us as how we've let things happen to us and how we have wronged others and ourselves.

When wonder is restored, the mystery is restored. Everything takes on a new meaning. Everything is life-giving rather than life-sucking.

Take time to listen with your heart as to what God is saying to you. It may not be a physical move as it is a spiritual move. It may not be a transition of geographic proportions as it is a transition of spiritual proportions.

He's calling. Pick up the line and rather than spew off what it is you don't like, take a deep breath and say, "Yes, God, I'm listening."