So last night, as I slept, I felt a very prophetic sense in my heart. I heard in my heart this statement that I want to share. "You can only wrestle with the Angel so long. Then at the dawning of the day, you will find yourself in a totally new place in life." Sound familiar? Remember Jacob? He wrestled with the Angel in the night. This is symbolic of the night season of the very soul. We all have those moments. He had no idea that on this particular night his life would forever be altered physcially, emotionally, and spiritually.
1) Physically - The Angel touched Jacob's hip as Jacob said "I won't let you go till you bless me." Better be careful there Jacob buddy. You're blessing ended up with a broken hip. One thing about hips is that once they are broken they don't heal all that well. He ends up with a limp. This is important to understand. No longer can he rely on his own strength. He can't run away anymore. He is forever altered.
2) Emotionally - Jacob began to admit who he was. I Am Jacob. What was he saying? He was coming to the place in his life where maybe for the first time in his life he was a deceiver, a liar, a crook. This is important in order to move on. This is where I've come to. God chooses to move in extraordinary ways once our past is dealt with. Our negative past, even our positive past can't venture into the new day that is dawning.
3) Spiritually - We find Jacob's name is changed from deceiver to Israel...contender with God. This is a very spiritual experience. God begins His revelation of the covenant He made with Abraham and Isaac so long ago. Covenant comes inspite of our shortcomings. God shows up that evening where He finds Jacob between a rock and a hard place. Life changes for Jacob. He meets up with Esau, his brother who he had wronged in a sense so many times. There is somewhat a restoration. That's what God is intending for us...a restoration. In order to move forward into the new day and season of life we must recognize the reality of restoration.
As we have talked about in the last couple of blogs, we have dealt with the woman at the well. This well had a name. It was called Jacob's well. As Jacob's life was changed, so this woman's life was on a crash course of the Spirit. We find ourselves at the well. Our lives will be altered.
So in closing, I truly believe that some of us have been wrestling with the Angel. The breaking of dawn is nearing. We need to allow the Angel of the Lord to do what He intends to do, even if it means breaking our hip. There is definitely a new day ahead of us. A new season... of ministry, of life, of promotion, of good and not evil.
As horrible as a broken hip may seem, we're not going to be able to run away like we always have. Hollow out a walking stick. It's going to come in handy.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
The Human side of Michael Jackson and Me
I would never have thought that Michael Jackson would make up my next blog. I never followed his music. I knew of songs like Billie Jean, Bad, and a couple of others. I can appreciate his place in music history but I was never a fan.
I heard that had taken him to the hospital and of course the jokes were flying. Maybe his nose had fallen off... then the news was very grim. He had went in cardiac arrest. Sickness is never a laughing matter. I felt guilty. Then the news came that he had passed.
No matter what may or may not have happened along the way, Michael was a human being. Above and beyond the strangeness he was a man looking for something to surfice. He was looking for real love. Aren't we all?
No matter how much money he had, he was still looking for a place where love would heal the wounds of the past.
One statement that really made me thing was from a man who had talked to Michael and asked him "Michael are you a lonely man?" He said that Michael stared at him for about 10 seconds before answering. Michael then said "I am a very lonely man."
This spoke to me something very powerful. This made him appear human to me. I could for a moment identify with him. I've had seasons in my life where loneliness threatens to overwhelm me. One can be surrounded with money, possessions, and even people and still feel very alone.
To me this sounds like the woman at the well...lonely. Rejected. Frustrated. Afraid. Alone.
Driving home last night, I felt sad. I felt sad for his two sons and daughter. I felt their loss. He was their dad, no matter what.
I pray that Michael found Jesus sitting on the well. I pray that he made his peace.
I heard that had taken him to the hospital and of course the jokes were flying. Maybe his nose had fallen off... then the news was very grim. He had went in cardiac arrest. Sickness is never a laughing matter. I felt guilty. Then the news came that he had passed.
No matter what may or may not have happened along the way, Michael was a human being. Above and beyond the strangeness he was a man looking for something to surfice. He was looking for real love. Aren't we all?
No matter how much money he had, he was still looking for a place where love would heal the wounds of the past.
One statement that really made me thing was from a man who had talked to Michael and asked him "Michael are you a lonely man?" He said that Michael stared at him for about 10 seconds before answering. Michael then said "I am a very lonely man."
This spoke to me something very powerful. This made him appear human to me. I could for a moment identify with him. I've had seasons in my life where loneliness threatens to overwhelm me. One can be surrounded with money, possessions, and even people and still feel very alone.
To me this sounds like the woman at the well...lonely. Rejected. Frustrated. Afraid. Alone.
Driving home last night, I felt sad. I felt sad for his two sons and daughter. I felt their loss. He was their dad, no matter what.
I pray that Michael found Jesus sitting on the well. I pray that he made his peace.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The Thirst for Perfect Love
So we come to a well...a place that is supposed to quench thirst however sometimes we find that no matter how much we drink from the well, our thirst still exists. This woman who came to the well found this out. She had been approaching the well for what could have been years. She came to the well alone. She came at the hottest point of the day. Why? To avoid her past. To avoid seeing the mirror image that projected itself back to her. She had been married five times. The man she lived with wasn't even her husband. She was just living with the guy.
I'm sure she came to the point in her life where she was fed up with the ridicule, the snickers, the back-biting, the hurtful words. She came to Jacob's well. He was another who had a hard time dealing with his identity. So this woman was in very good company.
An unhealthy image creates a thirst that can only be quenched spiritually. A spirit problem needs a spirit solution. An emotional problem needs an emotional and spiritual solution.
Perfect love casts out fear. I don't know about you but I sure could use some fear casting out. Life tends to be lived in the moment yet that moment tends to be filled with strong emotional charge.
This woman saw another "Man" at the well that day who would confront her in such a way that in the end her life would be forever altered. What was the issue? He was dealing with her thirst. Her thirst had led her in ways she had no idea of. It was more than just her relationships. Obviously her relationships weren't working. Her thirst was for love. Perfect love.
She was looking for something more fulfilling. Aren't we all?
So we keep coming to the well. We confront our image. There is a day coming when Perfect Love will quench our thirst. The day is sooner than we realize. Maybe today... if we will open ourselves up to it.
I'm sure she came to the point in her life where she was fed up with the ridicule, the snickers, the back-biting, the hurtful words. She came to Jacob's well. He was another who had a hard time dealing with his identity. So this woman was in very good company.
An unhealthy image creates a thirst that can only be quenched spiritually. A spirit problem needs a spirit solution. An emotional problem needs an emotional and spiritual solution.
Perfect love casts out fear. I don't know about you but I sure could use some fear casting out. Life tends to be lived in the moment yet that moment tends to be filled with strong emotional charge.
This woman saw another "Man" at the well that day who would confront her in such a way that in the end her life would be forever altered. What was the issue? He was dealing with her thirst. Her thirst had led her in ways she had no idea of. It was more than just her relationships. Obviously her relationships weren't working. Her thirst was for love. Perfect love.
She was looking for something more fulfilling. Aren't we all?
So we keep coming to the well. We confront our image. There is a day coming when Perfect Love will quench our thirst. The day is sooner than we realize. Maybe today... if we will open ourselves up to it.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Well
Vulnerability is something that we try to avoid for whatever reason. Especially when it comes to expressing our faith in Jesus Christ. We don't want anyone to think we're weak. We're supposed to be the man or woman of faith and power. Yet we deal with our humanity which can be quite daunting. I used to speak and teach so hard against emotion and soul because I wasn't allowing myself to experience wholeness. Until I am whole in my emotions and soul I will never be able to understand what it truly means to be spiritual. Being spiritual is truly learning to embrace our emotion.
This last couple of seasons have found me in a vulnerable place. It's not wrong. It doesn't mean I don't have faith. I've been reading the Bible in a different way. I see something throughout scripture from Genesis to Revelation...these are human beings on a very real spiritual journey. The woman at the well in John 4 was a vulnerable woman in a vulnerable place. Jesus didn't come to the well that day to condemn her. He came to help her see that she could have a different life than what she was living.
Life looks alot different now since I had my health issue. Before that, I was frustrated with life really. Things were going on around me that really were out of my control but they would still have an affect on me. I now realize that the things I have no control over are nothing to get upset over.
So today I want to say in closing...don't feel condemned for feeling...for having emotion. It's okay to be vulnerable. Allow yourself to be who you are. Keep coming to your well. One day you'll find that Jesus may be at your well.
This last couple of seasons have found me in a vulnerable place. It's not wrong. It doesn't mean I don't have faith. I've been reading the Bible in a different way. I see something throughout scripture from Genesis to Revelation...these are human beings on a very real spiritual journey. The woman at the well in John 4 was a vulnerable woman in a vulnerable place. Jesus didn't come to the well that day to condemn her. He came to help her see that she could have a different life than what she was living.
Life looks alot different now since I had my health issue. Before that, I was frustrated with life really. Things were going on around me that really were out of my control but they would still have an affect on me. I now realize that the things I have no control over are nothing to get upset over.
So today I want to say in closing...don't feel condemned for feeling...for having emotion. It's okay to be vulnerable. Allow yourself to be who you are. Keep coming to your well. One day you'll find that Jesus may be at your well.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Journey of the Moment
Life sure is a journey. I realize that it's important to take in the scenery of the journey called life as I won't be able to embrace this moment again. Moments are fleeting. There's here...well.. for but a moment. It's important to remember where we once had been but don't allow that to keep you from enjoying where you are. So many times I have been caught up in the past...the glories and the failures... that I keep living and missing the moments that presented before me.
An article that the Late Rich Mullins had wrote for Release Magazine comes to mind...I thought I'd like to share...
It is for those every-once-in-a-while kind of moments - far more than for those once-upon-a-time ones - that we can be most thankful. It is in those moments that we find some sense of who we are. Regardless of how grand or how common the event of the moment is, in it we see ourselves at our absolute best - focused, poised and pure - no compromise, no ulterior motives, no self deception or pretense. We see what we are like when we have no point to prove or score, no bills to fit, no scrutinizing to endure... We meet again that child in us who stills loves to swim naked in the cold, quick-running waters of the now - the child in us who can feel in his skin and very bones the warmth and brilliance of the sun. In those moments there is that flash of astonishing recognition: this is not a child who is merely in us - this child is us.
No wonder we love the moments and want them to linger. But for now they can't, so we must let them go. They are the flicker of some holy flame, a twinkling of an eye wherein the dead come alive again. Remember them, thank the Lord for them, but move on into the next moment and be present in it. It is God's present to you.
So many times we just look at the wrappers of the present that God gives us. The present is His Presence in the present moment.
I read a quote from a book called "Waking the Dead" by John Elderidge.
"The Glory of God is man fully alive." I love this statement yet it causes me to wonder how many days I've spent not being fully alive. There I go again. The longer I think of that the less apt I am to enjoy and embrace the moment that is presented before me.
After my bout of sickness that almost took me literally out of this world, I find that life is sweeter. Life is grander... life is good. Too bad it had to take that close call to cause me to wake up and smell the roses so to speak. After so much loss in the last little while, one tends to feel like their stuck in the middle of the tunnel and not being able to see the light at the end. But thank the Lord for His Grace and mercy.
I guess I will end this blog with this thought: The bible says "where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty." If this truly is the case, and it is, no matter what moment I find myself in, the good, the bad, or the ugly, I know this to be true...If He's with me, and He promised that He would be, then I am in liberty now.
Thanks for the Hug, Jesus. :)
An article that the Late Rich Mullins had wrote for Release Magazine comes to mind...I thought I'd like to share...
It is for those every-once-in-a-while kind of moments - far more than for those once-upon-a-time ones - that we can be most thankful. It is in those moments that we find some sense of who we are. Regardless of how grand or how common the event of the moment is, in it we see ourselves at our absolute best - focused, poised and pure - no compromise, no ulterior motives, no self deception or pretense. We see what we are like when we have no point to prove or score, no bills to fit, no scrutinizing to endure... We meet again that child in us who stills loves to swim naked in the cold, quick-running waters of the now - the child in us who can feel in his skin and very bones the warmth and brilliance of the sun. In those moments there is that flash of astonishing recognition: this is not a child who is merely in us - this child is us.
No wonder we love the moments and want them to linger. But for now they can't, so we must let them go. They are the flicker of some holy flame, a twinkling of an eye wherein the dead come alive again. Remember them, thank the Lord for them, but move on into the next moment and be present in it. It is God's present to you.
So many times we just look at the wrappers of the present that God gives us. The present is His Presence in the present moment.
I read a quote from a book called "Waking the Dead" by John Elderidge.
"The Glory of God is man fully alive." I love this statement yet it causes me to wonder how many days I've spent not being fully alive. There I go again. The longer I think of that the less apt I am to enjoy and embrace the moment that is presented before me.
After my bout of sickness that almost took me literally out of this world, I find that life is sweeter. Life is grander... life is good. Too bad it had to take that close call to cause me to wake up and smell the roses so to speak. After so much loss in the last little while, one tends to feel like their stuck in the middle of the tunnel and not being able to see the light at the end. But thank the Lord for His Grace and mercy.
I guess I will end this blog with this thought: The bible says "where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty." If this truly is the case, and it is, no matter what moment I find myself in, the good, the bad, or the ugly, I know this to be true...If He's with me, and He promised that He would be, then I am in liberty now.
Thanks for the Hug, Jesus. :)
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Relay For Life...What a Journey.
Tired, sore feet. Aching knees. Tired...and I was only there half the night so the poor peopole who actually stayed the whole night...I can only imagine. It was a very emotional experience for me. The Survivor's lap was absolutely amazing. I stood there in tears as the names of the survivor's were read. My thoughts were that my niece would be one of these amazing people next year. The second lap was reserved for the teams. I was fine until I saw the team for the Cancer Support Group. Their banner had a huge picture of my dear friend Sandi. Tears stung the eyes again. I had this ache within.
I walked around afterward looking for my luminary that I would light in memory of my Grandfather. I finally found it and also saw some luminaries in memory of my uncle. That was another moving experience to watch as at dusk these luminaries were light. It was beautiful.
At around 11 pm, I sang around the bonfire. The first song was the one I had wrote for Sandi the week of her passing. Writing is a therapy for me. It's how I can express my heart in difficult seasons. Sandi's mother, who I had just met last night, heard the song and that was such a treat. The atmosphere around the fire was very interesting. A lot of teens were around the fire. So many times I feel intimidated by young people however they were very respectful of the moment. I could feel I had people with me and understand what it was I was trying to convey with the song. Sandi, you did leave a piece of you alive within all of us. You touched so many lives. Even if it may have been a one time encounter.
A Piece of You
Alive in MeI told you how I felt just in time
Now you're gone and I'm left with questions
Can't imagine life without you here
I miss the smile, the laughter, the servant you are
Chorus:
We prayed and believed together for a miracle
We shared the good and the bad together
And when the time came for you to go on home
I guess I'll learn how it is to have a piece of you alive in me
You had so many hopes and dreams
A desire of family and someone to love
When you heard the news you held on
Sitting on my sofa we kept the dream alive
Chorus again
I wish for one more moment
One more day
One more time to spend with you
I wish I could hear your voice
See your eyes dance the way they did
I know you're where you belong
No pain can stop you now
Only love carries you on the clouds
I know I shouldn't cry
I am thankful for the moments we had
It's just my selfish side
Wanting to keep you here
But I let you go
I say goodbye
Rest, my sister, rest
Clayton A. Stairs, October 28, 2008
I can say that this evening was healing as I wasn't able to attend Sandi's memorial service. I felt last night that I had my opportunity to say goodbye, to let go, and to just know that everything is okay.
I walked around afterward looking for my luminary that I would light in memory of my Grandfather. I finally found it and also saw some luminaries in memory of my uncle. That was another moving experience to watch as at dusk these luminaries were light. It was beautiful.
At around 11 pm, I sang around the bonfire. The first song was the one I had wrote for Sandi the week of her passing. Writing is a therapy for me. It's how I can express my heart in difficult seasons. Sandi's mother, who I had just met last night, heard the song and that was such a treat. The atmosphere around the fire was very interesting. A lot of teens were around the fire. So many times I feel intimidated by young people however they were very respectful of the moment. I could feel I had people with me and understand what it was I was trying to convey with the song. Sandi, you did leave a piece of you alive within all of us. You touched so many lives. Even if it may have been a one time encounter.
A Piece of You
Alive in MeI told you how I felt just in time
Now you're gone and I'm left with questions
Can't imagine life without you here
I miss the smile, the laughter, the servant you are
Chorus:
We prayed and believed together for a miracle
We shared the good and the bad together
And when the time came for you to go on home
I guess I'll learn how it is to have a piece of you alive in me
You had so many hopes and dreams
A desire of family and someone to love
When you heard the news you held on
Sitting on my sofa we kept the dream alive
Chorus again
I wish for one more moment
One more day
One more time to spend with you
I wish I could hear your voice
See your eyes dance the way they did
I know you're where you belong
No pain can stop you now
Only love carries you on the clouds
I know I shouldn't cry
I am thankful for the moments we had
It's just my selfish side
Wanting to keep you here
But I let you go
I say goodbye
Rest, my sister, rest
Clayton A. Stairs, October 28, 2008
I can say that this evening was healing as I wasn't able to attend Sandi's memorial service. I felt last night that I had my opportunity to say goodbye, to let go, and to just know that everything is okay.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Bonfires and Rememberings
Blogging. Everyone seems to be doing it these days. So why should I? Who would take the time to be interested in my thoughts? Maybe it's more cathartic than anything. Yet here I am.
I'm really excited about Relay for Life on June 5th. I am going to be singing at it. I guess I'm scheduled to sing at the bonfire. That will be really nice I'm sure. I wrote a song the week a good friend and sister of mine passed away. She had fought a long, hard battle with cancer. I miss her greatly. The song is called "A Piece of You Alive in Me." I have come to learn that she left each of us a piece of herself and once that is embraced and we come together as one, we learn and realize that she is definitely with us.
I find it really neat to be singing at the bonfire cause if my memory serves me right, we had a birthday party for Sandi around a campfire.
Although I wasn't able to attend her funeral for reasons beyond my control, this will be my time of closure.
My thoughts are also with my sister and niece down in Halifax. My niece is facing her own battle with Leukemia. On top of all that, she is also dealing with Pancriatis. I hope she gets on the mend soon and is able to come home.
So I hope to have some more blogs as time goes by. We'll see where this takes us.
I'm really excited about Relay for Life on June 5th. I am going to be singing at it. I guess I'm scheduled to sing at the bonfire. That will be really nice I'm sure. I wrote a song the week a good friend and sister of mine passed away. She had fought a long, hard battle with cancer. I miss her greatly. The song is called "A Piece of You Alive in Me." I have come to learn that she left each of us a piece of herself and once that is embraced and we come together as one, we learn and realize that she is definitely with us.
I find it really neat to be singing at the bonfire cause if my memory serves me right, we had a birthday party for Sandi around a campfire.
Although I wasn't able to attend her funeral for reasons beyond my control, this will be my time of closure.
My thoughts are also with my sister and niece down in Halifax. My niece is facing her own battle with Leukemia. On top of all that, she is also dealing with Pancriatis. I hope she gets on the mend soon and is able to come home.
So I hope to have some more blogs as time goes by. We'll see where this takes us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)