Relay for Life 2011

I needed to spend some time thinking about what Relay for Life meant for me this year.

The first year was a time for me to deal with my loss and grief of a dear friend.

Last year was a time for me to deal with my fear and have a sense of hope renewed in my heart.

This year was a time for me to reflect on the journey of life. It hasn't been an easy road. But the road is what it is. No matter how tough things may be the greatest thing I know is that I have friends who stand with me, encourage me, pray with me, listen to me. That I wouldn't trade anything for.

My Birthday - It's Not Just Another Day.

Not too many may realize this about me so I'm going to take a little bit and share some of my heart in this blog. For as long as I can remember, I have suffered from seasonal depression. There are three months of the year that tend to be really difficult to handle. May is one of those months. I'm not sure as to why this is the case. Part of it may have to do with I'm usually alone. I don't make friends easily. I am a loner. I normally don't mind being alone but there are times when I want friendship desperately.

It's never good to be alone when you are depressed because the internal conversation tends to be severe and brutal.

I am very thankful to say that this past May hasn't been bad at all for depression. I believe it's because I have this understanding of friendship. I wasn't alone this past month.

However, the past few days of the month of June has been a bit depressing. I thought to myself, "Ugh, here we go. We must be making up for lost time."

I turn 35 today. I'm not married. I don't have children. Alot of people my age are married, have children and even some have grandchildren. It's not that I don't want to be married or have children because I do. I just haven't met the right person. If I were to dwell on this, it would be depressing.

I thought today was just going to be another day. I had an anniversary party to go to for an Aunt and Uncle. I saw alot of family and a few friends. That was nice. Thanks for encouraging me.

My Facebook page has had alot of Birthday Wishes on it.....friends from High School, friends from Maine, Georgia, Maryland, friends I know, friends I've never met. These messages have caused me to realize just how blessed I am. I am not alone. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

I feel hopeful. Another year to share my life and thoughts with you. I hope to encourage and inspire you. :)

Human Songs From A Faith Perspective

So I am preparing to sing for Relay For Life in my home community where I grew up. They had called and asked me to come back and sing. I am so pleased that they called me rather than having to call them and look like I'm begging to sing. I have never liked to ask to sing. It makes me look desperate. I remember telling my pastors in times past that if they wanted me to sing that they would have to ask me. I wasn't going to ask to sing. That's not to say I haven't asked to sing. But it is quite rare.

In this blog, I have shared the journey that my family have been on over the last two years. I have shared about writing songs about it. I have sung songs about the journey. Writing these songs have been very helpful in processing the journey.

I grew up singing in church, singing church songs, worship songs, Christian songs. I love singing these songs. They are important.

I write Christian songs.

However, these songs that I've been writing over the last two years aren't necessarily Christian songs per say. They aren't songs I probably could sing in a Church setting. Not that I'm ashamed of these songs. These songs are probably some of the most important songs I've ever written.

I would label these songs as such: Human Songs from a Faith Perspective.

Human Songs are songs about life. Real life. Pain, fear, joy, patience, healing, wonder. I feel that these songs have been (and I hope they continue to) a means for encouraging other people who identify with the emotions of life.

These songs use the word "Baby", "Darling", etc. These words make people uncomfortable (Christians). I remember the controversy back in 1991 when Amy Grant was using these words in her songs. Charlie Peacok's album "Love Life" was very controversial and banned from Christian Bookstores.

Yet these cds were simply expressing human feelings, emotions, realities.

Many artists don't want to be simply Christian Artists. I don't believe that they are ashamed of beings Christians. They simply want to express life from a Faith Perspective.

So these songs for Relay For Life are Human Songs. I won't apologize for singing Human Songs. I'm a Christian and not ashamed of that. Everyone knows I am. But I want to sing these two songs with passion, and faith. And maybe someone will hear these songs will identify themselves with them and leave this gathering with a better understanding of the strength they possess inside.


Love’s Whisper is Louder

You’ve come this far on the wings of grace
You couldn’t have made it without faith
I know you’re afraid of what lies ahead
I’m not here to tell you your fear is unfounded
Cause it’s not me walking down this road
And it would be easy to give the easy answer
It’s okay darling cause Faith is still faith
And you know love is love and that’s all we all need


Chorus:
I remember the day when a piece of my heart died
And I know yours was shattered with just a look
Fear has been a voice whispering in the background
Love’s whisper is louder and revives one piece at a time

You’ve come this far on the winds of mercy
You couldn’t have made it without faith
I know you’re afraid of the unknown
I’ll be the first to admit that I am too
But this one thing I know to be true
You’ve never been left alone to believe in tomorrow
It’s okay darling cause Faith is still faith
And you know love is still love and that’s all we need

There’s too much healing left in your hands
To not be given to an entire world
There’s too much love left in your heart
To keep to yourself, it’s not something you can do

Clayton A Stairs, February 13, 2011



Determination

Life hasn't been an easy one for you
For whatever reason that may be
Lot of mountains to climb
And valleys to trudge along through
I don't understand
I don't even pretend to
I'm just a spectator on the sidelines
Watching how you'll take this next turn

Chorus:
I must say you amaze me every time
I see determination in your eyes
They burn a hole in my heart
They make me wonder if I have that inside of me

You fight a war sometimes quietly
Sometimes with a vengeance
Where does your strength come from, Baby
Really I already know, I just want to hear it from your lips

Fight on Baby
Fight on
Courageous warrior
Fight on

Clayton A Stairs, May 17th, 2011

Milestones, The Fear, & Love's Whisper

Today is a big day for my niece. She has her last spinal tap, her last chemo treatment. It has been a long two year journey for her and her family. If it seems long to me, her uncle, then it must seem twice as long for her.

There have been alot of highs and lows along the two year journey. Alot of questions have marked the journey. Alot of emotion both of success and frustration....fear and joy. Lots of prayer have been markers along the way.

There have been many friends and family who have prayed for her over the last two years. I could never repay you for your kind words of encouragement, your faith, your love and support. You have stood beside us and I am pray that I can stand by you in your time of need. I pray you never have to walk the road of cancer. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

Of course, now that we near the end of this journey, there is always that nagging fear in the back of one's mind. Some may not understand that. Some will say "Well, that's not faith!" Maybe it isn't but if they haven't been through something like this they have no idea of what the journey is like. Sometimes it's easier to give the pat religious answer rather than acknowledge what every human being faces from time to time in their lives.

One of the songs I plan to sing at Relay for Life is called "Love's Whisper is Louder". It deals with the thought of fear. Fear is there. We might as well acknowledge it. Thankfully though, Love's whisper is louder than the voice of fear. May love's whisper always be louder for you in your life.

When Ministry Takes A Turn... Change Isn't A Bad Thing

I have a sense that the longer I live my life the picture of what ministry truely be is changing. When I graduated High School, I knew I was to go to Bible College and be trained. I had a picture in my mind that I would be a pastor. As life progressed, I became a Bible College Teacher. I have a heart for teaching. I love to teach and to share. In all those years of teaching, I noticed a huge change in me as an individual. The style of teaching changed from the mentality that "I'm the teacher -- you're the student"... to one of simply talking to people. With that came a vulnerability and an openness to share a side of me that I didn't let people see too often. I thought people wanted me to be a "strong leader". My perception of what a strong leader changed. It's not about "look at me"... it's about here's my scars.... here's my story... maybe you can identify with that. Now, I sense in my heart ministry for me is changing yet again. There is this deep sense that I want to keep that vulnerability in my teaching but I really sense that I want to be a prophetic encourager. I want to be able to have God download what He wants said and done to me and to be simply a vessel of encouragement to people....whether that be one-on-one or a church setting. I see conferences. I see some travelling involved. It's not about building my own kingdom or a name for myself because I could care less about that. If I can encourage people in their journey and relationship with God that would be amazing. If I can encourage people to go deeper in their faith....awesome. The reason I can encourage is because I've been encouraged. I used to challenge people because I was being challenged. I want to teach because I have been taught. I want to share because people have taken the time to share with me. If I can share the love that God has for people... oh what a joy! I kind of wonder if people hold on too long to what their ministry had been. Ministry, I think, is meant to change and grow and mature. What I used to do may or may not be what I am called to do today. I need to be open for change. Rather than rely on what has been, I need to rely on Him and allow Him the opportunity to bring and birth change into the calling. Wasn't it Him who birthed the calling in the first place? If He wants to bring a turn in the road shouldn't I be open to take the turn? Change isn't a bad thing....

The Prayer That Changes Things

It seems as if we are living in a time of great turmoil. More than likely the turmoil has always been there, it's just manifesting itself right now. It should do thing for the believer. These things that are transpiring in the earth right now should be inspiring to the intercessors of the earth. These things should be causing a draw in our spirits to pray. These things should be driving us to our knees. We should see these afflictions as opportunities for the Glory of God to be released in the earth. The Bible says that "The Eyes of the Lord are going to and fro throughout the earth." He's looking for something. He's looking for people who will pray, who will stand in the gap, who will intercede. Change the world you live in by prayer. Afghanistan will be changed only through prayer and intercession. Iraq will be changed only through prayer and intercession. Ivory Coast will be changed only through prayer and intercession. Japan and Haiti will be changed only through prayer and intercession. I find it very disturbing that there has been so much child and kiddie porn found in my province of New Brunswick. Intercessors, we need to be praying for our province's children that they will be protected from the evils of sexual abuse. New Brunswick will be changed only through prayer and intercession. Yet in the midst of all this turmoil, there are amazing, exciting, powerful things happening in the Spirit. Be passionate once again about prayer...about communication...about hearing God speak once again. Speak what He is speaking. Seed it into the earth. It's time to pray.

Hope Doesn't Disappoint

1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Key Verse:
5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

I don’t know about you but I have experienced some disappointment in life. Life hasn’t always been kind or shown me grace. Some of my deepest dreams and desires were crushed. I’ve lost friendships along the way due to misunderstanding.

The day my niece was diagnosed with Lukemia, I can tell you, I was very disappointed.

When my health scare came along, I was disappointed.

When my dream of being an assistant to my pastor didn’t come true, I was disappointed.

What is hope?

In the midst of difficulty, there is a trust that goes beyond human understanding. Trust has got my family through all these health issues.

Trust has kept me and caused me to dream bigger than I have ever dreamed before.

Hope caused me to turn even deeper into my relationship with Jesus Christ. Where else can I go?

Hope: There is a refuge that we have. My refuge is in knowing that no matter what I may face in life, I still have God with me.

There is this expectation in God.

In Merriam Webster Dictionary, it defines hope as this:
to cherish a desire with anticipation.
to expect with confidence

Hope causes me to cherish my relationship with God no matter what giant is in front of me. There is no disappointment in hope. I learn quickly to allow God room to do what He desires to do. As I do this, my love for God grows because I know that it is His love within that causes me to walk in the season set before me.

This is the reason why hope doesn’t disappoint. Love is in action. Love is what sees us through.