Tired, sore feet. Aching knees. Tired...and I was only there half the night so the poor peopole who actually stayed the whole night...I can only imagine. It was a very emotional experience for me. The Survivor's lap was absolutely amazing. I stood there in tears as the names of the survivor's were read. My thoughts were that my niece would be one of these amazing people next year. The second lap was reserved for the teams. I was fine until I saw the team for the Cancer Support Group. Their banner had a huge picture of my dear friend Sandi. Tears stung the eyes again. I had this ache within.
I walked around afterward looking for my luminary that I would light in memory of my Grandfather. I finally found it and also saw some luminaries in memory of my uncle. That was another moving experience to watch as at dusk these luminaries were light. It was beautiful.
At around 11 pm, I sang around the bonfire. The first song was the one I had wrote for Sandi the week of her passing. Writing is a therapy for me. It's how I can express my heart in difficult seasons. Sandi's mother, who I had just met last night, heard the song and that was such a treat. The atmosphere around the fire was very interesting. A lot of teens were around the fire. So many times I feel intimidated by young people however they were very respectful of the moment. I could feel I had people with me and understand what it was I was trying to convey with the song. Sandi, you did leave a piece of you alive within all of us. You touched so many lives. Even if it may have been a one time encounter.
A Piece of You
Alive in MeI told you how I felt just in time
Now you're gone and I'm left with questions
Can't imagine life without you here
I miss the smile, the laughter, the servant you are
Chorus:
We prayed and believed together for a miracle
We shared the good and the bad together
And when the time came for you to go on home
I guess I'll learn how it is to have a piece of you alive in me
You had so many hopes and dreams
A desire of family and someone to love
When you heard the news you held on
Sitting on my sofa we kept the dream alive
Chorus again
I wish for one more moment
One more day
One more time to spend with you
I wish I could hear your voice
See your eyes dance the way they did
I know you're where you belong
No pain can stop you now
Only love carries you on the clouds
I know I shouldn't cry
I am thankful for the moments we had
It's just my selfish side
Wanting to keep you here
But I let you go
I say goodbye
Rest, my sister, rest
Clayton A. Stairs, October 28, 2008
I can say that this evening was healing as I wasn't able to attend Sandi's memorial service. I felt last night that I had my opportunity to say goodbye, to let go, and to just know that everything is okay.
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