Tired of Wrestling with the Angel Yet?

I'm back to the wrestling with the Angel idea. For the first time, I think I see something about Jacob that I've never thought of before. At the point where Jacob was wrestling with the Angel, he came to the point in his life where he had to admit to himself who he really was. He didn't need to tell the Angel any of this. The Angel already knew who Jacob had been.

Jacob is face to face with his identity. I've known this. What I don't think I've considered before is that I think Jacob was tired. I think he was weary. Sure he had devised yet another plan of escape from his brother that he had wronged....however....during the night season of his very soul, he grew weary. He was tired of wrestling with his very own soul.

This is what I hear Jacob saying: I AM JACOB! I AM TIRED OF BEING A DECEIVER. I'M TIRED OF BEING A THIEF. I'M TIRED OF BEING THE BAD GUY!!

I think I'm catching something here. Change can't truly take place until I come to the reality of who I have been. Change can't come until I get to the point of weariness. I'm weary of being an idol worshiper. What does that mean? Idols can be money, houses, nice cars, sex, co-dependant relationships. Anything that takes that number one spot from the True Conceptual God. My Lord. My Savior.

Are you tired yet? Are you tired from wrestling with your demons so to speak? If you're tired, lay down. Lay down your pride. Lay down who you are to discover who He's making you to be.

Jacob found himself one evening under the stars with a rock for a pillow. It was an uncomfortable place. I think we're all there... in this uncomfortable place. A rock has become our pillow. Yet Jacob had a dream of angels ascending and decending on a ladder to the heavens. Jacob awoke and made this statement: GOD WAS HERE AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!

In our place of being uncomfortable, we are in a place of great change. God is there and we're soon going to know it.

So I guess today my main thought is this: In this uncomfortable place we find ourselves in, we are ripe for change and we're going to come face to face with who we are and who He is making deep within us.