The Real Clay

I realize how blessed I am. Sometimes it takes going through a loss to make you realize that. Sometimes loss is the way God opens our eyes so to speak. I lost another uncle last week to cancer. Every time that this happens, it takes me back to the time I lost a dear friend of mine. It takes me back to the time when I lost my grandfather and my uncle. It makes me confront my fears, my hurts, my loneliness, my longings.

I went to work the other night. I had mentioned to my supervisor that I had lost an uncle the night prior. At about 10pm, I was given a card signed by my co-workers. Tears filled my eyes that I had to get up and leave the room. That small kind gesture meant alot to me.

I had a friend ask me if I was okay and that if I needed someone to talk to that they would be online after work. I took them up on that....kind of. I emailed them a long email. I talked with them about my fears. I shared with them what I had felt when I lost my dear friend. I shared things that I've never shared with a living soul. I opened up and revealed my heart to them. It was a long email.

To have their input meant alot to me. They saw a different perspective.

I shared with a friend at supper last night after church: I've struggled all my life with being a friend. This statement came out: You can't be what you've never had. Strange statement maybe. I mean I've had friends. They were alot older than I was. I treasured those times but to have people my own age...to have people younger than me.... I don't know how to be a friend. I realized that last night. It's not that I don't want to be a friend. I don't know how. Sometimes I come across a bit rough around the edges. Sometimes I feel like a camelion. I feel like I have to try and impress. People would say just be yourself. Great: and that's true: but who are you? Who am I?

This may be a really different blog than I've ever written before. But this is me on my way to being real. I want to be real.

So today, I ask the Father, the Son, The Spirit, the Wonderful Counselor, the Prince of Peace to reveal to me how to be a friend.

I emailed a friend today and told them that my goal was not to convince them that there was a God. My goal was to be a friend. Not your typical religious response I know. Can I save people? Not the last time I checked. My duty and job as a believer is to be who I am in Christ: in spirit and in truth: reality. Let's be real folks. That's my prayer.

The woman at the well didn't need another man: she needed reality.

Peter didn't need to be condemned (he had done that enough himself): he needed reality of the love of God.

If I want people to be real with me: then I have to be real with them. Now, this takes us back to the very beginning of these blogs 9 months ago: If I want people to be vulnerable with me: then I have to be vulnerable with them. That's the gospel I want to preach: That's the gospel of Christ: He brought out the vulnerable side in each of the people He ministered to. He even revealed His own vulnerability in Gathesemane, on the Cross....

If Jesus was real, and He's our Great Example: then it's time people see...the Real Clay.